The Croatian Bear
Last modified: Wednesday, August 1st, 2012
Say hello to our good buddy, The Croatian Bear, more commonly known as CB. CB told us that he’s now one of our sponsored riders, specializing in Fat Bike warfare. He’ll be “racing” at events throughout the Midwest and Eastern Europe, so he tells us. Who are we to say no to such a charming lad?
Somewhere in Eastern Europe
CB was kind enough to send us a bio that he told us we’d publish for him. Here it is CB, we’ll see you at the GPS coordinates we’ve received for the exchange.
Born: Zagreb, Croatia; Date: Unknown
Given Name: Unknown
Alias: Croatian Bear
Surviving Family: Unknown (Believed to have been cannibalized)
Mental Status: Unstable and Diagnosed Clinically Insane
Training: Croatian Special Forces: Weapons and Tactics Specialist, Guerilla Warfare, Chemical and bio-Hazard Weaponry, Information Gathering/Interrogation Specialist, Extreme Survival Training, Imprisonment and The Art of Escape.
Preferred Weapons: Blunt Objects, Chain Saw, Machete, Blow Torch, Hands, Fat-Bike
Known Triggers: Questions, Carbon Fiber, Sane Propositions, Democracy, People who start conversations with “you should…”
Mission Objective: Advancing the Resistance at Any Cost; No Prisoners
Are you happy now?