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The Croatian Bear

Say hello to our good buddy, The Croatian Bear, more commonly known as CB. CB told us that he’s now one of our sponsored riders, specializing in Fat Bike warfare. He’ll be “racing” at events throughout the Midwest and Eastern Europe, so he tells us. Who are we to say no to such a charming lad?


Somewhere in Eastern Europe


CB was kind enough to send us a bio that he told us we’d publish for him. Here it is CB, we’ll see you at the GPS coordinates we’ve received for the exchange.

Born: Zagreb, Croatia; Date: Unknown

Given Name: Unknown

Alias: Croatian Bear

Surviving Family: Unknown (Believed to have been cannibalized)

Mental Status: Unstable and Diagnosed Clinically Insane

Training: Croatian Special Forces: Weapons and Tactics Specialist, Guerilla Warfare, Chemical and bio-Hazard Weaponry, Information Gathering/Interrogation Specialist, Extreme Survival Training, Imprisonment and The Art of Escape.

Preferred Weapons: Blunt Objects, Chain Saw, Machete, Blow Torch, Hands, Fat-Bike

Known Triggers: Questions, Carbon Fiber, Sane Propositions, Democracy, People who start conversations with “you should…”

Mission Objective: Advancing the Resistance at Any Cost; No Prisoners


The Croatian Bear will be at the Ore2Shore race this weekend and he’s told us he’s got something for you. You can also follow his rude behavior here.



Are you happy now?

Backwoods Off's avatar

About Backwoods Off

Bob is at heart a nice guy, a fact he tries hard to dispel by riding a Harley (and dressing like it), and by hunting deer, turkey, and others of God’s magnificent creatures, which he then eats because that is how you do that. He enforces Surly’s use of social media, which is not as funny as it may sound since many people in this group truly hate the very idea of social media.

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