Surly Bikes
[An apology to the author of this entry, $T, who had asked for this to be posted prior to the new year. A series of unfortunate excuses obstacalized this goal to irredoability but I trust tht you can get over such things and simply be mildly disgusted. That's all we really ask. -KB]
Since the end of the year is usually full of top ten lists…and because, I won't lie, I am a bit of a slacker when it comes to posting Blog entries...Ok I'm a huge Jabba The Hut style slacker when it comes to this blog shit…the fact of the matter remains that I still owe "you the slack-jawed people of the wide world webdom" a glimpse into the shady and illicit world of elite single speed mountain bike "racing". While the venue was spectacular, the hosts of the event spot on, our interpreter of Kiwi language and cultural liaison David the "swashbuckler" of Cycle Supplies was most gracious...we still managed to surround ourselves with halfwits, numbskulls and buffoons of every shape and size. If you don't believe me, you need only to continue to scroll down and see the fantastic skills displayed by the "world's best athletes":
Before we start the carnage, a little cheers from our Kiwi friends.
I was assured that the Kiwi’s genuine good nature was largely due to a mixture of wonderful natural landscapes, ample sheep and a square diet based on meat pies and bottled beer. My diet didn’t allow the sampling of the meat pies but I assure you Tui brand beer supplemented most meals lack of protein with beertein.
Ok then. Ten best crashes…ready…set GO!
#10
Like the height of the left leg, khaki shorts and the dressy knee sox. This crash can also be seen in the 2011 JCrew catalog.
#9
Crashing early leaves this gent open for good form upon stream entry. Bike flip height looks solid. All in all, a pretty sweet looking endo.
#8
While maybe not a spectacular looking crash at first glance, it should be noted that the right foot down and well placed bent arms leaves this racer open for a summersault or cartwheel, should he want to add a flourish to his landing. I think he has done this before…
#7
Now this disco styled stack was a pretty good photo series unto itself but in one frame you can still see that its merits are many. The feet have good follow through as told by the rotation of the bike’s 180* rotation, the rider is heading for full stream immersion and the lily white costume will be soiled. He had a great recovery as well where he stood up and remounted his huge cop sunglasses and shook his tambourine to much applause.
#6
Though the sheer look of panic preceding this crash was priceless, this belly flop is really quite spectacular. Not only has he gone knees first into the drink but his bike is almost on top of him and I wonder where the handlebars are? Are they resting in his knee pits? Is he modulating the brakes levers with his calves? The umbrella had has done nothing to protect him from the water…isn’t it ironic.
#5
Handstand/Still clipped in/neon short skinsuit…for everything else there is Visa.
#4
Doesn’t that look like it hurt!? Sideways, near fetal stream entry will almost full body immersion. Stunning. You can tell by the pattern and trajectory of the water displacement that this was a hard crash. Hats off to you sir!
#3
#2
This crash leaves me nearly breathless. The spray suggests a hippopotamus just did a belly flop into a pool of baked beans…but this guy is on his back! What I wouldn’t give to see the other 5 seconds leading up to this masterful stack-job. He has practically emptied the stream of its water in the insanely acrobatic effort.
#1 SSWC10NZ Crash of the year:
Holy shit right!? The form, the ass up poise, the hands nimble and ready for action. It takes dedication to ride out a sinking ship, seated, all the way to the end. Something this lovely could only be accomplished by a lady. Somebody buy this gal a drink and crown. Winner!
Or not.
All Sensational crash photography was provided by Surly friend Jesse J Gartner. Thanks Jesse!
About $Trevor From Where Ever
T$ was born and raised in MPLS, MN. He does not own a car, opting instead for bikes and motorcycles to get around. He has a wide and varied taste in music, and once when he was young he filled a Super Soaker squirt gun with hot coffee and sprayed strangers on the street just for fun. Trevor manages our demo fleet, implements sales initiatives (acting as special concierge to many of our fine dealers) and tours the western reaches of the states in search of high adventure and intrigue.