United States


Snot-sickles and duck-chickens

A couple of things today: First, it's cold here in Minneapolis. Here's some proof. Hinzey rolled into the Q'b farm today on his LHT with a champeen snot-sickle hangin' off his face mask. Grody. Also, the top tube of his bike was glazed like a donut from his effluent. I don't know about you, but I usually can't swim in that kind of personal goo. Second, to business: We have loads and loads of complete bikes in stock and ready to go. Long Haul Truckers, Steamrollers, and Cross-checks are clogging the shelves and giving Snack heartburn just looking at them. Buy them and make yourself squeal with delight. Truckers will continue to be offered in Utility Blue (which is way cooler than it looks on the web - it's kind of grey/blue and tough.) We will also be offering it in Olive Green (a bit darker than our original Sage, but still awesome, check it.) The Olive will arrive in March. Cross-checks and Steamrollers will remain Black or Misty Mountain Gray and Maroon (chocolatey brown) respectively. Lastly, a Taiwanese riddle: Duck Nick works for Surly. Chicken Nick works for our Taiwan agent. We received word today that Duck Nick has defeated Chicken Nick. Duck Nick was able to keep all the 18 year old scotch on the inside. Chicken Nick was not - a couple of times. This leads us to the following set of axioms (axia?): Given any competition between a chicken and a duck, we're going to pick the duck every time for the following reasons: 1. Ducks can fight on land and on water - that's amphibious yo. Chickens drown. 2. Ducks can fly. Chickens are slaves to gravity. 3. Duck hunting can be fun and challenging because ducks are wily. Shooting chickens, while potentially fun, is no challenge at all. 4. Chickens work for the Man. They sit quietly as we make them into bullion and steal their eggs. Ducks aren't having that shit. 5. If someone yells "DUCK!" at you, they're trying to help you avoid a low flying object. You should thank them. If someone yells "CHICKEN!" at you, you have to kick their ass. So, let's recap. It's cold. Buy a bike. Bet on the duck. -Skip -----
Skip Bernet's avatar

About Skip Bernet

Eric is a pretty ok guy. Tall, loud, personable, slightly annoying, mostly harmless, law-abiding, easy-going, longitudinal, forthrightly wishy-washy, slightly bent, wigged out, dopey, and marginally accident-prone. He lives on cold cereal and American macro-brews while occasionally fighting the good fight. He's fallen down in front of big crowds before, and he'll likely do it again. He sometimes zigs when he clearly should have zagged.

Continued Bloggage

im - 1/16/2008 05:26:00…

Apple-cheeked Demanda, a friend who I would describe as a Scenester (something I doubt she'll be happy about, although I bet she'll dig being mentioned here, which strikes me plainly as scenterism), sends this story, about how to identify and deal with infestations of Hipsters. Viz: "Hipsters are freakishly antisocial;…

Read More