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Oh Croatian Bear, Will You Ever Learn?

Every once in a while I get an email from this giant freak who calls himself “The Croatian Bear”.  You can find him on Facebook and on random other sites here and there.  He basically is a dude who races in Ironmans (Ironmen?), Cyclocross races and Triathalons on a Surly Pugsley and pretty much smokes most of the skinny tired crowd. 

So today I get this email from him.

Surly Marketing Asshole,

I have written this manifesto as a piece of living history.  Those who mourn the dead and defeated who have fallen under my steel can look back on this moment and see that their loved ones were warned.  They were warned indeed.  

You will post this on your blog.

End Transmission .

The best part is that he typed end transmission and then sent the email.  Or maybe it’s his signature.  At any rate, here is his challenge (for lack of a better word).

Triathletes of the World,

There is an imbalance your world. Everything you've come to know and take comfort in will soon be challenged. There are some things in this world that you cannot comprehend or explain away to science. Things that shake you to the very core and challenge you to dig deeper; challenge you to search for meaning and direction; challenge you to find something to cling to for hope. This will be one of those things.

Over the years there have been many battles fought. Battles fought for justice, battles fought for ideals, for country, for religion, for safety and honor. These battles have always been fought by man and steel. Civilizations have seen their rise and fall at the hands of man and steel for centuries and this will forever continue to be a constant. Generations of families built your country of steel while creating their own dynasties that you so desperately long to become part of. Yet, so many of you sheepishly turn your back on the very truth that is responsible for your existence and serves as the hulking spine for your country - this weekend shall serve as a reminder to the balance of power. This weekend, a new battle will be fought on the Ironman Stage and there will be no quarter offered and no mercy shown. It is not about being loud, making a scene or proving a point, it's Steel Warfare, and nothing more. This is the resistance. It cannot be stopped and fat steel will never quit. You've been warned.

  • Croatian Bear

So there's that guy.  Have a fun weekend, and watch your back.

Gern Blanston's avatar

About Gern Blanston

A rider-slash-Surly fan who somehow bounced like a quarter at a drunken college mixer into what he thinks is pretty much the swellest job a fella could have, it is Tyler’s job to determine how Surly should seek attention to its products and itself generally. He has an extensive background in children’s theater, which is, perhaps not surprisingly, a good fit for the marketing manager of this company.

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