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Bikes. Parts. Chaos.
MaLora Ann, of Seattle, WA, "creator, designer, and lucky girl for the Lovely Ladies on Beautiful Bikes Calendar," wrote wondering if I'd be interested in posting something about them on this here blog. Oh sure. Why not? Although I am suspicious of sales points like "Hot chicks on Surly bikes is good for everyone," still I like girls and bikes and girls who like to ride bikes and of course calendars, and with the added No Pressure! line from her email, I went into that dark internet and checked out their deal, by which I mean their website. Still, nothing with me is simple (as I am sure any number of people who know me will attest). The stinger came as a comment from a visitor on their myspace page who thanks them for "bringing sexy back to cycling." I am not calling into question The Calendar Girls' sexiness --they appear to be pretty girls who like to smile for the camera and who love to ride bikes; no fault there-- but the comment flustered me into a knot of existential angst over the subject of sexiness in cycling. Exhibit A: Was sexiness actually missing from cycling in the first place or does this suck up just want to get lucky? Exhibit B: Lycra is not and should never be considered accoutremont to one's sexiness. Perhaps you have the bod to pull it off, but the best looking person in lycra is still a far cry from actually looking good. Lycra can, will, and does take any imperfection and amplifies it to screaming insult for the world to see. If this guy is balancing on one hand the hermetically sealed but lycra free raciness of the calendar girls against 25+ years of cartoon embossed lycra cycling "fashion," some middle ground has obviously been missed (not to mention extremes beyond middle). Exhibit C: Was there a need for sexiness in cycling? Not only has the Sex Sells mantra been so liberally applied to all manner of marketing that it may be considered without hyperbole Ubiquitous, but as well the American predeliction toward sexual uncomfortableness means that almost any image which even hints at sex is enough to send us into spasms of excited, skulking peeping tommery. In a culture where Following The Joneses equates to staying on top of the latest fashion, the fundamental question lost is Who sets the standard for what is or is not fashionable? Not to mention sexy. Exhibit D (and I reach this point with no small amount of self loathing and ironic shame for allowing myself the level of self indulgence it takes not only to think about such arcane and unimportant a topic but to write about it at length on, of all media, a blog): Why do I care at all? It isn't like I'm setting any fashion standards, let alone pushing the envelope of sexiness, nor (as evidenced by my spectacular beer gut) do I care to. But like that portion of the body on which the sun seldom shines, everybody's got an opinion. And some of us have big digital soapboxes on which to puff up and try to be important. And isn't that what's really important here? Although I am no longer sure what point I'm trying to make, or if I was ever trying to make a point at all, I defend myself by recalling the sage words of my uncle David: "All free cats are pregnant." I'll swallow my angst now, shut my typing mouth and continue carreening down that dark and winding road by myself. I mean, who am I to rain on their parade? These girls like to cheesecake a little gam for the camera. Buy one of their calendars and you get a nifty thing to hang on your shop wall, and if you're in Seattle you get to know a few of the people you may see around on bikes. So I'll leave this topic with just the facts, ma'am. The release party for their 2nd annual calendar is November 1. Everything you need to know is on the flier. The rest is sound and fury, signifying nothing. Lovely Ladies Calendar Propaganda ************************************************************************************ I don't know why I find this interesting, but I want one, so go yurt yourself. ************************************************************************************* Lastly, this is a little gem of a time waster. A bit of history, some entertainment. And it does make me think "Man that is hot. I want that style." -----