im - 8/01/2005 11:08:00 AM

Pffft pffff. CHECK ONE! CHECK ONE! Is this thing on? Can you hear me in the back? Take a little high end out of the monitors. CHECK!!! Skip Bernet here, reporting live from the floor of the beautiful, if overly expansive, floor of the Sands Convention Center in seductively sinful Las Vegas, America. All the bike geeks are here for the millionth annual Interbike trade show and guess what? Everything is made out of carbon fiber now! Including my underwear. Man, who woulda thunk it? Let's go over to our man in the field - Kenny Bloggins. Kenny? Thanks Skip. It's just mayhem down here. Chickens were flying everywhere around the plane and I think I have cillocosis from standing out in the desert for two days straight. Went to dinner last night with a huge crew from Japan, one of whom was handed a guitar and sang clapton better than Clapton. I tell you whut. Items to watch this year: well, there seems to be an increase in retro wool clothes, and as Skip reported you can't throw a dead cat without hitting something made of carbon fiber. Not that you'd want to throw a dead cat, because then people would gather around thinking it's some sort of promo and they expect to win something. Thaat's it for now frokm down on the floor. Let's check in with Dr. Swervy, our physical conditions consultant. Doctor? Swervy here, our physical conditions seem good today. Even though I just found out Brother David found some trouble at the Breeze Bar(f) last night as saw his pillow for all of 3.5 hours, Skip and I both got a solid 8 hours of shut eye in. Amazing, considering I've been averaging 5 hours/night for the last week. Yes, he's a good snuggler. I even had a dream last night we were swimming in a lake. I pulled up to the dock, rested my arms on theplanks and proclaimed to my friends, "here come the bubbles" and I woke myself up with a nice morning fart. After stopping by the Italian cafe for a few pine nut cookies and some fruit, we're at the booth an hour early and I find it impossible to resist a cold can of Guinness for breakfast. It actually tastes quite good with the cookies. Brother David is working hard by showing our entire array of parts to our Japanese friends an... Oops, we seem to have lost Swervy. He nodded out for a moment and farted. Skip Bernet back on the case... and look who's dropped by! Chevil Knevil and the Bear. We here at Surly are lucky to have swindled so many cycling luminaries into being our bestest buddies. It makes me feel funny inside. Bear wants you all to "come to his hotel room and rub his back with your hands... because it feels good." He's freindly. Here comes Jeff Holt. He's tough as nails, but purrs like a kitty when you touch him right. You'd be a way better person if you knew him. Big Jonny just rolled by with his new socks and t-shirt, so go check those out. Otherwise, there's lots of Vegas left in us and it's tryin' to get out. If we survive, we'll report again. This is Skip Bernet signing off from the Sands. DOUBLE DOWN SALOON... TONIGHT!!! -----