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im - 6/06/2008 11:22:00 AM

Ask Dr. Surly A Surly News magazine wherein we consult T. Whitman "Doc" Riviera, chief of quacktigraphy at the Surly Institute for Cycling Healthinesses, with your cycling related medical questions. Note: Medical science is not for the squeamish or those without a good sense of humor. Discontinue use if negative reaction occurs. Brock D. of Fritters, Alabama: Is it true that those anatomic saddles help save your deal? Dr T: No, those saddles are a pack of lies, based on pseudo-scientific claims and incomplete facts. The only good saddle is one that feels the least uncomfortable while still retaining an Envy Factor of at least 7, such as a Brooks, a colored Brooks, a Brooks with springs, or a custom cut or handtooled Brooks. We in medical science know this because in scientific studies we found more new riders on Brooks saddles than any other, so using what we in medical science call "deductive logic," we determine that Brooks saddles are therefore the best and perfect for everybody. Tracy K. of Brooklyn, NY: As proper fit plays a major role not only in cycling performance but also in longterm joint health, do you have any recommendations for achieving proper fit? I am especially concerned about crank length and saddle position as it relates to knee health. Dr. T: Perfect fit is a myth perpetrated by Big Bicycles and enforced by oxygen starved roadies who contort themselves into cramped aero positions for long periods and think about the nuances of q-factor and knee-over-spindle placements. If it hurts, adjust it. If it hurts worse, try adjusting it the other way. Quit your bitching. Even so, riding something that fits really badly will hurt you but if you're dumb enbough to keep riding when it hurts that much, you deserve what you get. Jenna P. of Ragbrai, Iowa: I have heard you can OVERhydrate. Is this true? Dr. T: Not if you drink enough alcohol. Terrence J. of Church-on-Trench, Willingford Woodshire, Beamish Noodlehorn Middlewhit, Spicknamby Steppe, Curdlefoot, Surrey, UK: My hands go numb a lot when I ride. I have a Storck C.1.1 with Oval Concepts RA910 Aergo bar and Campy (Record) brake levers. I have been custom fit using body imaging CGI technology and still have this problem. What can I do? Dr. T: (unavailable for comment, pouring self a stiff drink) Dave A. of Portland writes: I done ordered it. 60cm Black Cross Check, with a custom single speed build. It's going to be rad. I do have a question for you, though. I have had a perpetual hard-on since ordering it, knowing it is coming. Is that normal? Dr. T: Yes, although you should be watching for severe throbbing, numbness, purplish discoloration, hot sweats, cold sweats, housewife's knee, irritation, immaculate conception, dropsy, the bends, scaling, itching, blindness, tumors, difficulty breathing, rapid heartrate, constipation, the shits, burning sensation while urinating, enlarged prostate, fallen arches, vaporlock, and profuse sweating. -----
Chest Rockwell's avatar

About Chest Rockwell

When not writing some of the words that Surly uses to convey information about their products and life position, Chest enjoys a stunning array of adventurous and rewarding endeavors. He is an internationally known entrepreneur and businessman, an award-winning architect, and has trekked the perimeter of China, unsupported, overland on bicycle, on foot, and on skis. He fluently speaks eight languages, including Icelandic, which is considered to be one of the world's most difficult languages to master. He is an avid skydiver. He designs spacecraft for NASA. He has been in no less than twenty-one feature films and is considered the world's leading authority on the healing properties of snake venom. He has built a popular reputation as a funnyman, appearing in cameo roles on various popular television shows primarily in the U.S., Europe, and Japan, and is the author of sixteen books about achieving one's potential. He is a motivational speaker drawing on his experiences in combat, for which he was awarded two purple hearts, and is a personal life coach to celebrities and notable figures worldwide. In his spare time he enjoys music, bicycles, writing, and spending time with his family. In other words, he's totally perfect, so don’t worry about it.

Continued Bloggage

im - 6/10/2008 11:26:00…

MilestonesPress 'play' on the video. Right now. Bandwidth schmandwidth. CoFlo sent us our web stats. 666 Posts, last published on Jun 6, 2008. The 666th post on the 6th day of the 6th month. That's cooler than a smelly vagrant telling you you'd make a good drifter. -----

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im - 5/12/2008 06:07:00…

If you ever find yourself in Portland, OR, you might want to stop by Zenger Farm and check out the sweetest chicken coop on two wheels. Last year, Patrick Barber, of the Eastside Egg Co-operative, contacted us for some tough, high-float wheels to go on a mobile home for the…

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