"I can't do with any more education. I was full up years ago."
-P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters
1) The lovely and talented Ms. Bloggins, chief of zoology and potentate at the International House of Cornflakes of NE MPLS, sends a review of a book I have not read (Pedaling Revolution: How Cyclists Are Changing American Cities by Jeff Mapes) but which, after reading the review, I would like to. The article, by David Byrne (yes, that David Byrne) is itself well formed, smart and neat. He writes, "Toward the end of the book, Mapes gets into debates over bike lanes (are they really safer?), safety rules (should cyclists have to obey stop signs?) and traffic ideologies (should cyclists claim a full space in a lane, or stick to the edge of the road?) that only an obsessive or an advocate (hello!) is likely to be interested in. But the debates he presents may end up helping us all."
2) The lovely and talented Ms. Bloggins also forwards this warbling chickadee. Take the opportunity this sunday between 11 and 2 to absolve at least your bike of its worldly sins and transgressions even if you yourselves cannot overcome your foul mouths and bad attitudes. "Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now." -Jake Blues
3) Hippie lawyer, albino sasquatch and all around good egg, M. Moore esq. sends word that, "New Belgium Brewing is bringing their Fat Tire Tour to Parade Stadium in Minneapolis this July 18th. There will be a bicycle parade around beautiful Lake of the Isles ON A CLOSED PARKWAY! Yes bikes will rule the road for a couple hours anyway. This is a family and charity event and proceeds will go to MORC, The Greenway Coalition and Bicycle Alliance of Minnesota. New Belgium is estimating that 3000 riders will show up, I think they are a little low, this will be the place to be on a bike on July 18th."
4) The place to be two days before that will be Minneapolis Institute of Art's Tour de Force, a ride to the museum from One On One Studio, with valet (oo lala!) bike parking provided by Freewheel MPLS when you arrrive at the museum, allowing your worry free enjoyment. Partake of refreshing Surly beer (no relation) prior to the ride, get in a nice evening cruise with like-minded gentry, and upon arrival watch the 1948 Italian Neorealist movie The Bike Thief, dig on music by Kid Dakota, tour the art within, and potentially win 'prizes' from Nutcase helmets, Twin Six graphic apparel, and even a Surly bike. The flier has even more stuff listed on it too. As a wise man once told me: Art is a fart in the park after dark. Class up. Formal attire, though not required, I would consider apropos.
5) Hello God It's Me Johnny and I have lately been locking ourselves for days on end in the climate controlled, flourescent, deep rock bunker in the bowels of Surly Intergalactic HQ, which is located next door to the First Church of Corrugated Aluminum and directly across the street from Ted's Fine Shelves in the scenic Oxygen Riche district of the planet Pluto (technically no longer a planet). Theoretically the mission is the frankenstein-like creation of a possible product offering. I've been typing manifestos like they're going out of style, angrily striking keys with plastic shattering determination such that I have had to have my keyboard replaced 4 times. Johnny's been rubbing his hands together and making that Mwa-ha-ha-ha! laughing sound a lot. His latest intrabasement email memo to me (our desks, mind you, are 4 meters apart) reads in part, "I think whatever we come up with should have a lot more braze-ons. What's that for? Pump. What's that for? Spokes. What's that for? Firecrackers. What's that for? Final Solution. Huh? I mean the final solution to me getting wasted on Tequila. Ok, cool, what's that for? Spare tight pants." Though only begun, I remain confident that we can keep drinking until something makes sense. Even the most absurd theories have occasional anomolies of pattern which look sufficiently like they originate from intelligent consideration. Meanwhile, the list supplied at one of the more recent Surly staff meetings shows projects being worked on by Dave and Nick which we hope will make bike nerds drool and paw at the glass. Lots of ideas in the firing tube. Some later, some sooner, all good.
7) How do you use your Big Dummy? Send me a brief letter and a photo. I can be contacted by using your computer machine to write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
8) Don't forget, 1x1=11. That only happens..uh...let's see carry the 8...square root that beeyotch...once. Quantities are limited, and the ride is sublime.
9) Pew! Pew pew!! (laser sounds)
"I just sit at the typewriter and curse a bit."
-P.G. Wodehouse on his writing technique