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im - 1/16/2008 05:26:00 PM

Apple-cheeked Demanda, a friend who I would describe as a Scenester (something I doubt she'll be happy about, although I bet she'll dig being mentioned here, which strikes me plainly as scenterism), sends this story, about how to identify and deal with infestations of Hipsters. Viz: "Hipsters are freakishly antisocial; some argue it is genetic. This trait becomes especially magnified in unfamiliar or non-hip environments. So, the last thing you want to do is alienate hipsters further from society than they've already alienated themselves. Here are a few things you must understand before attempting to communicate with hipsters: >Hipsters know more about music than you do. >Hipsters know more about clothing than you do. >Hipsters know more about Charles Bukowski than you do. >Your sense of fashion is “fin” (bad). Embracing these ideas as fact will not put you on the same level as hipsters—that would be ridiculous—but it will let the hipster know that you are keeping it real, which they can respect, sort of." Those of you in colder areas of the northern hemisphere may notice more signs of hipsters in your home at this time of year. Like mice and other pests, hipsters will seek shelter from the cold, finding their way into garages, attics, and basements. Speaking of northern climates, Surly News' unqualified medical correspondent and FNG Warranty Inspections Officer Aaron The Pie Plow has asked that I take a moment to remind everyone of another pesky winter guest, depression. Low sun angle, shorter days, and diets that do not include actual, naturally occuring vitamins can lead to severe, debilitating depression. Get to know the signs, and intervene if necessary. Symptoms of depression include: >Mustache/beard/sideburns >Overcoat >Dour expression >Continued residency in latitudes at or above that of Kenosha, Wisconsin >Drinking the same amount as usual but being less excited about it ************************************************************************************* In actual news, the latest issue of Vancouver's Momentum Magazine arrived in the mailsack yesterday. An excellent example of a bike magazine for the rest of the people who ride bikes (the ones who do not know what next year's XTR looks like, or care), this issue contains a teaser: Momentum will be reviewing longbikes in upcoming issues, longbikes being long wheelbase cargo bikes such as our Big Dummy, the Kona Ute, the Yuba, and the granddaddy that (arguably) started it, the Xtracycle FreeRadical. Keep in mind, they're not merely giving pagespace to acknowledgment of the existence of such bikes, but rather truly testing them, riding them everyday for months, using them for commuting, hauling, and general whatnot, then reporting their findings in the Momentum style, which is to say simple, straightforward, & smart. Get some of that. -----
Chest Rockwell's avatar

About Chest Rockwell

When not writing some of the words that Surly uses to convey information about their products and life position, Chest enjoys a stunning array of adventurous and rewarding endeavors. He is an internationally known entrepreneur and businessman, an award-winning architect, and has trekked the perimeter of China, unsupported, overland on bicycle, on foot, and on skis. He fluently speaks eight languages, including Icelandic, which is considered to be one of the world's most difficult languages to master. He is an avid skydiver. He designs spacecraft for NASA. He has been in no less than twenty-one feature films and is considered the world's leading authority on the healing properties of snake venom. He has built a popular reputation as a funnyman, appearing in cameo roles on various popular television shows primarily in the U.S., Europe, and Japan, and is the author of sixteen books about achieving one's potential. He is a motivational speaker drawing on his experiences in combat, for which he was awarded two purple hearts, and is a personal life coach to celebrities and notable figures worldwide. In his spare time he enjoys music, bicycles, writing, and spending time with his family. In other words, he's totally perfect, so don’t worry about it.

Continued Bloggage

im - 1/25/2008 11:04:00…

Things are happening. Here in MPLS you gotcher Snowball's Chance in Hell: And then you gotcher Stupor Bowl, also right here in the MiniApple. Organizers say: "Once again, the Minneapolis Bicycle Messengers are at it again, organizing the 11th Annual Stupor Bowl alleycat to be held in our fair city…

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Snot-sickles and duck-chickens

A couple of things today: First, it's cold here in Minneapolis. Here's some proof. Hinzey rolled into the Q'b farm today on his LHT with a champeen snot-sickle hangin' off his face mask. Grody. Also, the top tube of his bike was glazed like a donut from his effluent. I…

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