Bikes. Parts. Chaos.

Dear Charlotte, NC,

I have never visited your fine city nor breathed your clean air, but rest assured that after this coming weekend, both will have been done. Only then would I look into some type of restraining order.

So, the people who make beer at New Belgium Brewing have been rolling around the country like greasy carney workers, hauling a great deal of fun with them on their Urban Assault Ride. This year Surly put on its best suit and became the bicycle sponsor of this whole deal, and one of the riders on that contract clearly states that we have to send people out to decimate lots of beers.

I'm it this time. When I say I, of course, I mean we. Our nearly-newest Surly crapwad, Tyler the Marketing Baboon, will be riding shotgun - Bonnie to my Clyde if you will. We'll join the circus of beer-fueled fun this coming Sunday, April 1 (for real!), and you're encouraged to come down, ride bikes, raise money for good stuff, and generally make an ass of yourself. It's the American way for Pete's sake!

And, if our mere presnce were not enough, we'll be riding bicycles on a bicycle ride Friday night that you should maybe probably join up with. Here are some details on that ride from the FACEBOOK. Have you heard of the FACEBOOK? It's neat.

But here's the part where we need your help (sort of, and not really). We want to ride and haul some beer beverages, see the undersides of a few bridges, and maybe visit a few taverns without windows in your town. Maybe there's a good spot to meet, like a park or an alley? Maybe you should e-mail us here and let us know where to start and then we'll do that... with you... and those guys... We'll meet at 11am on Saturday. That means noon.

E-mail with the heading "I've been drinking on a bike ride in Charlotte and I know where to meet up" and send it to us - do it now. If it turns out lame, we'll blame you or tie you to a tree or both.

If you don't show up, Tyler will cry and I'll probably punch some stuff - maybe buildings and statues.

Honestly, after Johnny and I ended up in that dusty jail cell in Chihuahua follwing the Big Dummy ride in Austin, I didn't think they'd let me out again. But you know what? People change. Forgiveness is part of the process around here at Surly HQ, and I'm going to prove that I can lay down more than a simple aggravated misdemeanor this time.

In case the Charlotte Police are reading this, I'll be the bearded guy with the tattoos and the rose-tinted glasses - NOT the tall guy who looks like he stepped right out of an Irish Spring commercial.

Seriously, stop by.