Bikes. Parts. Chaos.

This is a public service announcement from Surly Customer service.

 

We like to start our Mondays with an empty email inbox so we delete all the emails that are sent over the weekend.

 

Don’t ask us for free stickers on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.

 

If you want us to ignore you, start your emails (or conversations) off with “You guys should…”, “Let me give you some feedback on the build spec for the…”, “Why don’t you guys…” or “I have a great idea for you”

 

Any email with any of the following words or phrases in it will automatically be deleted: gnar, gnarly, rad, gotcha, just sayin, stoked, epic, seriously, it is what it is, bro, shred, good faith, you know, ASAP, extreme, kudos, redonkulous, same difference.

 

If you call us while you’re stuffing your face with a bag of chips you will get hung up on.

 

What’s voicemail?

 

If you took the time to find our email address or phone number on our website why couldn’t you click your mouse 2 more times to find out what type of hubs come on the Pacer?

 

Your opinion is wrong.

 

If you swear at us on the phone be ready to hear our impression of a drunken sailor.

 

Will the (Insert tire name here) and (insert rim name here) fit on the (Insert bike co. name here that’s not Surly) frame? We have no idea, why don’t you ask (Insert bike co. name here that’s not Surly)?

 

The moment the word “Rohloff” is mentioned you should be able to feel our eyes glaze over.

 

No. We’re not going to sponsor your ride across the country/state/mountain range by sending you a free bike. We don’t care how kick ass of a blogger/photographer/writer you think you are. If you were that great, you wouldn’t have to ask.

 

Go ahead. Talk shit about us on “the forums”. Tell everyone how crappy of a company we are because we wouldn’t warranty your Steamroller with a seized seatpost that was left chained up outside of your dorm room for 5 years straight. See where that gets you. 

 

The most important part of this acronym – ETA - is ESTIMATED. Shit happens. Boats sink, trains derail, production slows, things don’t pass QC, we changed our mind, the color sucked, dock workers strike, planes crash, blizzards, tornados, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, pirates.

 

The name is Surly. What did you expect, Flowers and fucking unicorns?

 

Don’t forget to vote.

 

Have a nice day,

 

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