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From the email vault

All of us love our jobs and we love our customers, but you know what? Sometimes we don't love our jobs, and sometimes instead of spending the day talking to people who get Surly and love it for what it is, we spend the day talking to folks who WISHED they got Surly and so want us to change Surly so it better suits them. Most people understand that with a name like “Surly” we just might be a little surly every now and then. We get a ton of emails and we read every one of them. We even save some of those so we can go back and reminisce from time to time.  I’d like to share some bits and pieces of a few of my favorite emails with you.

 

These are all cut and paste from the original emails with no corrections. Please enjoy responsibly.

 

P.S. My mother is in a nursing home. I took great offense at what you find hilarious.

I’d love to know what spurred this on.

 

If you don't mind some feedback from a potential paying customer, lose the cockroaches.

The cockroaches are gone since our website facelift a couple of years ago, not because of people like this but because we really needed it updated. Anyways, I kind of like cockroaches-They remind me of an apartment I had in Detroit.

 

I wouldn't be so bothered by it if somehow alcohol werre actually related to bicycling in some way.

What world does this guy live on?

 

 

Go back to engineering school, MORONS.

This person didn’t like the standover height on our Karate Monkeys.

 

Do you have any thoughts of doing a single speed cross frame?

Horizontal dropouts are like Italian threaded bottom brackets to some people.

 

I am becoming very dissapointed in Surly. I have received some strange and annoying responses from them

Now, I don’t know what the “strange and annoying responses” were but judging by the complete email I pulled this from I’m thinking they were well deserved.

 

 

I was wondering if you had a shaft driven fixed gear.

If I had a nickel every time someone asked me this…

 

P.S.  I do not admire your insinuation that I am in the wrong in this situation, this is clearly an issue of mis-information/non-existant information.  My "undies" are not "in a bunch" for no reason.

You crushed the chainstays while you were installing a kick stand on your LHT and that is our fault?

 

hey, can i get a rockshox on my crosscheck?

Sure, why not.

 

Do you have any pictures of the black that you use for the Karate Monkey? I saw a lot of black bikes on your website, and despite looking similar, they all have different color names.

The re-naming of the color black from model year to model year on our framesets and bikes finally confused someone.

 

I’m going to mail you back my new-condition Snake Plisken Wants One sticker so you can shove it up your ass.  

I’m still waiting for this sticker to arrive because I never got one.

 

 

Its good to have a picture so I know who you are in case we ever cross paths.  I'll kick your ass man. 

That’s exactly why we have our pictures up on the website.

 

Seriously,  man, WTF? Like it would KILL YOU to give it some stinkin fender eyelets for crissakes?

This guy was bent out of shape because his Steamroller didn’t have any stinking eyelets for fenders.

 

Hey guys, just wondering when or if ever we will see a 1x1 29er?

Karate Monkey, check it out.

 

It seems like the top shaft connected to the fork is too long. Even with all the spacers, the brake cable holder, and handlebars there is still about 1.5 inches of extra shaft.

This is why we want you to have your bike assemItbled by somebody that knows what the hell they’re doing.

 

I've been vegan for over 20 years and have a psychological predisposition against a colour names Beef Gravy Brown

I quit reading after “vegan”

 

I was wondering if you guys would ever design a bike like the big dummy but specifically designed to be for trail

She didn’t like our TT version.

 

I love my long haul trucker that I flipped in a rut about an hour ago and bent the front wheel all to hell and gone

This one is very special to us all because we ended up hiring this guy a few years later.

 

 

I am absolutely desperate for a 1" threaded/threadless carbon road fork with mudguard eyelets if possible

I wonder if they ever found one.

 

And does the frame of my bike same as the surly frames. They kind of look the same.

Another sizing question.  Sometimes this is all we have to work with.

 

I have last years crosscheck. I was hoping to see if you guys would trade me my last year fork for a crosscheck fork for this year.

Sometimes, when we introduce a new color for one of our bikes, people ask us if we can swap the old color for the new.

 

Is there a standard for how I should adjust the for/aft position of my seat?   

Again, this is why we ask you to work with a bike shop when you’re building one of our bikes.

 

I hope this isn't some dumbass's idea of marketing, trust me your not achieving the desired effect, your just pissing people off

Marketing is stupid. I just said that to piss a few people off.

 

 

Thanks for offering substandard crap to the world.  Makes me proud to be an American.

When you live near a rainforest on the coast it’s never a good idea to leave your bike chained up to the fence year round and never maintain it. Steel has been known to rust.

 

I was taken aback today when I saw the f*bomb on your front page.  Please, please...do not use foul language on your site. 

Not a Fuckin chance.

 

I think you've damaged your reputation by posting the deer hunter pic on Facebook.

Some people don’t want to know what their food looked like before it was turned into food.

 

 

How disappointing it is to see this kind of attitude in today's modern society

The name is Surly Bikes.

 

Necromancy - the practice of communicating with the dead, especially in order to predict the future. Necromancer - a person who practices necromancy. Thought you might want to know. Seems like a strange name for a bicycle.

You don’t say? Maybe we should have Googled that or something.

 

 

I'm a experienced professional Bike Mechanic Old guy, and son of a machinist who made weapons of war.

This guy was pointing out that he could design bikes better suited for the modern day battlefield or something.

 

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A FEMALE RECUMBENT TOURING TRIKE

This entire email was written in caps, it wasn’t short and it was good and crazy.

 

You confuse potential buyers and then let them know you are a bunch of assholes simply by the stupid shit you write in your FAQ.

A perfect example of someone that just doesn't get it.

 

after seeing how much you charge for accesories i think you all should choke on your own puke and die YOU SUCK!

I think our accessories are priced pretty fairly but I think this guy would disagree.

 

 

 

I expect to see some great emails the next few days so don’t let me down.

 

Keep the rubber side down.

 

BoB

Backwoods Off's avatar

About Backwoods Off

Bob is at heart a nice guy, a fact he tries hard to dispel by riding a Harley (and dressing like it), and by hunting deer, turkey, and others of God’s magnificent creatures, which he then eats because that is how you do that. He enforces Surly’s use of social media, which is not as funny as it may sound since many people in this group truly hate the very idea of social media.

Learn More About Backwoods Off

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